Thursday, September 17, 2009

Definitions

Alright class, today we're going to learn definitions. Grab your pens, paper and dictionaries (UrbanDictionary for those that apply) and get your thinking caps! Ok, enough with that charade but seriously let's talk about current societal definitions. Person: An individual human being; a conscious form of life. Gay: A flagrantly homosexual person that likes to speak with a "lisp", carry purses, get highlights and act as feminine as he possibly can while still having XY chromosomes. Lesbian: A homosexual woman who likes to dress like a man and has a very short hair cut; possibly a lawyer, mechanic or gym coach. Tranny: A person who is confused as to what gender they want to be; a perverted and mentally disturbing individual. Now who can tell me which one of those terms is actually correct? For those of you who are unaware, there is an inclination in our society that gay people are completely and totally defined by their sexuality. When a person first comes out, it is easy to allow yourself to be dwarfed by this new reality. The truth is, sexual orientation is only one small portion of your life. Sexuality doesn't define your life, it defines who you'll share your life with. So let's go back to that one definition that is actually acceptable; Person: An individual human being; a conscious form of life. We are all just people trying to make sense of this whole mess called life. We're all trying to make our way past the stresses, insecurities, and baggage of life to find that one special person to help us make our journey. What's at the end? There are a lot of theories on that one. No one's reported back from the other side so far. When they do, I'll be sure to blog about it. As usual, I'll leave you with a quote, "Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" -Ernest Gaines Thanks again guys for tuning into my miniscule channel of ideas. Hope to hear from you soon!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Choices

Hmm....choices. They happen everyday right? Grande or Tall; Blue jeans or slacks; call-in or go to work, we all do it. One major "choice" for the LGBTIQ community is our sexual orientation. After a very stirring conversation with a family member earlier today, I decided it was time to debunk the most popular gay myth of them all: "Homosexuality is a choice." Now, many of you are thinking, "Yeah, its a choice but I still don't judge" or you're thinking, "It's absolutely a choice and a wrong one at that" or maybe you're one of the few open-minded, educated people of the world and are thinking, "Why would anyone ever think it was a choice?" The correct response is the latter of the three. No, homosexuality is not a choice. I did not wake up one day and all of a sudden think that Bob over there is a real cutie. There are many theories (real theories, like the kind tested and proven by scientists and psychologists) as to why all of us fags like each other. One of the out-dated but still plausible ideas is that in the early stages of childhood development, a person attains the affinity for the same sex. Many psychologists and psychoanalysts are now saying that if this theory is true, sexual orientation is determined within the first two years of life. A problem with that is where do some of us get the exposure? Harvey Milk said something to the affect of, "I was raised in a straight, catholic family. All the men around me were straight. If my orientation was based on that, I'd be the straightest man who ever lived." The second theory, this is backed by mounds of scientific evidence, is the genetic theory. Many people who are not well read on the subject may think it isn't true because they have not pinpointed a specific gene. No, they have not narrowed it down to one gene and there is a very plausible reason for that. The "gay" gene is best described as similar to the gene that determines skin tone. In fact, there's a whole group of genes that determines how light or dark one's skin will be. The best way to think of it is, if a black person and a white person have a child, that child will not be either black or white. Most likely, the child will be a mixture of the skin tones. That's because the different genes all meld into this new person. So one may say, "How does that relate to sexuality?" Basically, when the parents genes mix, you have a higher chance of being gay or straight, with some grey area in between. That is why there are so many different types of orientation. It's just like skin tone. Make sense? I know that probably wasn't my most coherent blog but I'm a little fatigued. So what have we learned this time? Being gay is not a choice. It would be so much easier to stay straight considering all the crap gays are put through when coming out. We don't really know why we are the way we are but what we do know is that we have to be true to ourselves. I've never made such an upset in my life over a simple choice. I am gay and have always been gay and will always be gay. That is a fact, a reality in my life. I love myself and my fellow queers. We are all unique, beautiful and incredibly strong. If you're out there and struggling with your orientation, we are all here with open arms and words of encouragement. We will have our ears ready to hear and our hearts ready to love. That is our identity, how we survive. I'll leave with another quote from one of our most beloved leaders, Harvey Milk, "If a bullet should go through my head, let that bullet go through every closet door." I love you all and thank you again for reading.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Bisexuality

So I'm starting this post at 1:00 A.M. and I'm thinking to myself...wow, I officially have no life! You may ask why I'm up so late considering I have to be at one of my wonderful jobs at ten thirty later today. The reason is, I had a mission tonight. After dredging around in cyberland, I suddenly had a craving for the stash of dehydrated asian noodles I had in the kitchen. When I went downstairs to fetch the Ramen treat, I realized Mandy had packed all the dishes in order for me to make this oriental delight. Then I thought to myself, with my friends moving in soon, we are probably going to need some sort of cookware. Thank capitalism for WalMart! Open 24-hours a day and has almost anything the heart could desire! From condoms to birth control, Vogue to the Bible, they have it all. So I set out to WalMart, barefoot, and bought myself some cooking utensils. I made it home and started making my excuse for a noodle soup. While I was sitting and waiting for my Eastern Gluten to boil, I thought, "This would be the perfect time to continue on my blog." So this entire paragraph really has nothing to do with the title of "Bisexuality." Again, to help those catching up in terms of culture, I'll define this word more thoroughly. Bisexuality: The sexual desire of a person for both sexes equally. Now most of us have probably heard people say negative comments about bisexuals such as, "They're just confused" or "They just need to pick a side." Unfortunately, those phrases are just as derogatory as saying homosexuality isn't natural. The fact is, bisexuality is not a very confusing concept. It just means some people like sausage tacos instead of one or the other. Admittedly, there are a lot of gay men and women who when they first come out of the closet, say to their loved ones that they are bisexual. Most people have a conception of bisexuality as a phase; therefore, it eases the blow because most people will assume the "phase" will end quickly. I even said  that I was bisexual when I first came out. Another antiquated idea is that there are only three categories of sexuality (i.e. Heterosexual, Homosexual, and Bisexual). In 1948, Alfred Kinsey created a scale of sexuality for people to gauge their own position in the sensual spectrum. The scale is as follows: 0) Exclusively heterosexual 1) Predominately heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual 2) Predominately heterosexual but more than incidentally homosexual 3) Equally heterosexual and homosexual; Bisexual 4) Predominately homosexual but more than incidentally heterosexual 5) Predominately homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual 6) Exclusively homosexual. This is a great way for people to see how varied sexuality is. As you can see, there are more than three categories. On this system of measurement I would say I am a 5. I also like the term Homoflexible: I'm gay but shit happens :-) Now I'm going to speak directly to those people who think that they are bisexual but are not entirely sure. Let me ask you this, when you're sitting with a group of people, are you having sexual thoughts about all of them or just one gender? If you are bisexual, the only person confusing you is yourself. There is nothing unnatural or strange about it. It is just as natural as being straight, gay or transgendered. Yes, I said it, transgendered! And now I'm going to talk to those people who are "bisexual." If you are just now coming out and to shield yourself and others from the "truth" you choose to say you're bisexual, stop. First of all, you're giving true bisexuals a bad name because when you eventually do say that you're gay, it adds to the idea that bisexuals are just confused gays. Second of all, most likely, you're not fooling anyone. I wasn't! So what have we learned today? 1) Bisexuals are not confused 2) Alfred Kinsey was a pretty cool guy that was way ahead of his time considering he released his findings in the forties 3) Don't worry if you're bisexual because we will all love you the same as our gay or straight friends and finally 4) Nathan is a five on the Kinsey scale so all the girls out there still holding a flame of desire in your heart for my body can finally get some shut eye knowing it may happen one day! haha
On a different note, I have set up an email account specifically for this blog. I encourage you to email me with your questions and ideas for future topics. I really like this idea! And seeing as my Dr. Pepper is running dry and my Ramen noodles have seemingly vanished, I believe it is time to end this excursion. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read my thoughts. I hope in some way I have helped you in a way I wish someone had for me years ago. I'll leave you with this quote about bisexuality: "Homosexuality was invented by a straight world dealing with its own bisexuality." -Kate Millett

I love you all very much. Let's go and help our society evolve toward sexual understanding.